Anger and Irritability: Myths That Stand in the Way of Recovery

Irritability and angry outbursts are often seen as something a person brings on themselves — a matter of mood, temperament, or attitude. This is one of the most persistent myths, and one that keeps people from getting help when they need it.

Myth one: "It's just my personality — that's who I am"

When irritability becomes a constant pattern — sudden flare-ups, aggression, the same cycle repeating — it is no longer a behavioural style. It is a symptom. Dr. Saulitis compares it to a high fever: a disturbance in how the brain functions is just as real and measurable as any physical sign of illness. Calling it "character" means ignoring an alarm signal.

Myth two: "It happened once and passed — it won't happen again"

This is an extremely common mistake. A person goes through an acute episode of irritability or a breakdown, things settle down a little, and they decide it's over. But if the underlying cause hasn't been addressed, nothing has changed. The same "explosion" will come again. Hoping it will simply go away on its own is, in the doctor's words, a protective illusion — the posture of an ostrich.

Myth three: "The main thing is to assess the situation and figure out who is to blame"

In a state of chronic irritability, a person tends to evaluate everything around them: the behaviour of loved ones, the unfairness of circumstances, other people's actions. This feels rational, but it is actually a trap. Judging things you did not create and cannot control — from within a reactive state — produces a distorted picture. Decisions made "from a reactive state" tend to recreate the very same situation all over again.

What matters instead

The way out does not begin with analysing who is at fault. It begins with stepping out of the reactive state itself. Only when a person manages to shift — to genuinely start noticing something beyond the irritant, to see something else in the world around them — does the brain get a chance to work differently. That is when different solutions begin to appear. Noticing your own state, tracking what improves it and what makes it worse — that is the entry point.