When Fear and Hopelessness Take Over: First Steps

Sometimes a person carries a heavy fear inside for years — fear of death, fear that “tomorrow there won’t be enough air,” the way there might not be enough money or other means. This fear can keep you from sleeping and push you to “build a reserve” every evening, to hedge and brace just to make it to tomorrow. On the outside everything may look fine: a position, work, family. But inside an exhausting effort goes on — constant winding-up, rituals, trying single-handedly to hold the ground beneath one’s feet. This brochure is about the gentle first steps to take when it has become unbearable inside.

Fear That Hides Itself

A heavy state often disguises itself. A person listens to a specialist “only out of politeness,” staying silent about what matters most, because of “the position, everything else — who can you even tell such things today?” In the doctor’s account a familiar mechanism appears: thoughts spin, then a fierce fear arrives that won’t let you sleep, and a feeling sets in that you must urgently “cushion” something to make it to tomorrow. It’s important to understand: this inner winding-up is not weakness or a whim — it is a condition that can and should be worked with.

“A fear appeared that tomorrow I wouldn’t have enough air, like money, like other means.”

Why It’s So Hard to Say It Out Loud

The doctor notes that people stay silent for a long time about what they’re going through — held back by status, position, the sense that there’s no one to confide in. Yet speaking it out is the first turn toward relief. Once the fear is named and brought into the open, it becomes something you can work with, rather than carry alone for years.

Leaning on More Than Yourself

In the case described, the person held a belief deep inside that he couldn’t cope on his own abilities, that he needed “levers,” insurances, accounts — everything that hedges against tomorrow. This is an important signal: when all your support rests only on your own control and endless safeguarding, your strength runs out. The healthier path is to let yourself lean — on a specialist, on loved ones, on outside help.

The State Can Change

The doctor speaks with hope: even a heavy fear that has haunted you for years can be worked through. The “mental winding-up” needs to be eased, and the feeling that “something will happen to me” without endless rituals needs to be lifted. It can be difficult and slow — but it is possible. Thousands of people, the doctor says, have step by step set their state in order.

“It took quite a long time of work to lift the fear that provoked this ritual.”

Practice: Gentle First Steps

1. Name the fear out loud. Tell a loved one or a specialist what you’ve kept silent — even in a single sentence. What is named stops pressing on you alone.
2. Notice the ritual. Pay attention to what you do “to make it to tomorrow,” which safeguard you repeat every time. The noticing itself is already a step.
3. Don’t carry it alone. Accept that leaning on help is not weakness. One person isn’t meant to hold everything by themselves.
4. Rebuild the foundation. Small, simple things — routine, walks, sleep, nutrition — gradually return the ground beneath your feet.
5. Reach out to a specialist. If fear keeps you from sleeping and living, that’s a reason not to wait, but to come for professional support.

Where to Get Help

In an acute state, when it becomes unbearable or thoughts of not wanting to live appear — do not stay alone with it. Reach out immediately to a specialist or an emergency helpline. In Russia — 112. There are people and help around you, and reaching out for it is a strong and right step.