Self-harm: What It Is and How to Recognize It

Self-harm is not attention-seeking or manipulation. It is a sign that a person is suffering deeply inside and has not found another way to cope with that pain. Understanding and recognising what is happening is the first step toward offering help.

What Lies Behind Self-harm

When a person is in a severe emotional state — such as depression — their perception of themselves and the world becomes distorted. Self-esteem collapses, the inner voice turns harsh, and the pain feels unbearable and endless. In such a state, a person may begin to hurt themselves — not because they want to die, but because they are searching for some relief or a sense of control.

It is important to understand: this is not a character flaw or "behaviour for attention." It is a symptom — a signal that the mind needs help.

How to Recognise It

Recognising self-harm can be difficult: a person often hides the signs and stays silent about their pain. Watch for indirect indicators:

• Withdrawal and avoidance — the person stops sharing feelings and distances themselves from loved ones.
• Behavioural changes — sharp mood swings, irritability, apathy.
• Concealing the body — wearing long sleeves even in warm weather, reluctance to expose skin.
• Talking about meaninglessness or unbearable pain — such words must never be dismissed.

Dr Saulitis emphasises: it is important to learn to recognise characteristics of what is happening, rather than to judge. Not "they are doing this on purpose," but "they are in great pain and need help."

Why Speaking Up Matters

Self-harm does not resolve on its own. Without support, the pain intensifies and the behaviour can become more dangerous. Having a caring person nearby is an enormous resource. You do not need to have the "right words" — being present, listening without judgement, and showing the person they are not alone is already deeply meaningful.

If you notice warning signs in yourself or someone close to you, that is reason enough to seek professional help. A specialist can help uncover the underlying causes and find a way through the pain.

Where to Get Help

If the situation feels urgent — do not wait. Reach out to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, or call an emergency mental health helpline. In Russia, in any life-threatening situation, call 112. Help exists, and it works.