Myths About Relationships: Jealousy Is Not Love, and Being "Convenient" Is Not a Virtue

A number of stubborn myths surround love and intimacy. They feel self-evident, pass from generation to generation — and that is precisely what makes them dangerous.

Myth one: jealousy is a sign of love

Many people genuinely believe that jealousy means love — that it signals fear of loss or proof of attention. In reality, jealousy and love are different things. Pathological jealousy has nothing in common with healthy relationships: it is control, checking up, restriction of freedom. In such a relationship the partner is treated not as a person but as property. The more intense the control, the further the situation is from love — and the closer it is to a clinical picture that requires professional attention.

Myth two: aggression and emotional outbursts as proof of "real" feeling

Arguments, conflict-driven "clearing the air," aggression — these are sometimes read as evidence of "genuine," passionate feelings. Dr. Saulitis is unequivocal: this has nothing to do with respectful, healthy human relationships. The intensity of emotions is not the same as their quality.

Myth three: a partner as rescue or source of benefit

A third trap arises when one person sees the other as a "lifesaver," or tolerates harmful behaviour in exchange for perceived advantages. The reasoning — "at least he has this or that, so I'll put up with everything" — replaces genuine closeness with calculation or dependency. A relationship built on one-sided convenience is not mutual complementarity; it is exploitation.

The key point

Love is not the same as ownership. Every genuine connection is built anew, on mutual resonance — not on fear, control, or tolerance born of self-interest. When a relationship involves intense control, aggression, or pathological jealousy, that is a signal to seek professional help, not a reason to consider it normal.