Psychological Abuse: What It Is and How to Recognize It

Most people have a distorted picture of what psychological abuse actually looks like. Dr. Saulitis identifies several levels — and the most destructive one is not the kind that comes from outside.

The first and most serious level: violence against oneself

The most frightening form of psychological abuse is the kind a person inflicts on themselves. This includes relentless guilt, endless replaying of the past ("if only I had…"), a deep sense of unworthiness, and anxious mental images about the future ("what if something terrible happens"). Dr. Saulitis calls this existential paranoia — a state in which the mind becomes seized by images and scenarios disconnected from reality.

This is not a character flaw or simply "negative thinking." It is a pathological mechanism — what the doctor describes as induced delusional thinking: the brain generates frightening scenarios by targeting our weakest points, and the person loses all sense of control over their experience of reality. The more intelligent and driven a person is, the more vulnerable they tend to be to this form of abuse.

The second level: those closest to us

The next source of psychological abuse is the immediate circle — parents, children, relatives, friends. It happens daily and often goes unnoticed precisely because it comes from people we trust. A telling sign: a person cannot say "no" to someone close to them — and suffers for it, yet still complies.

The third level: environment and content

A broader ring of sources includes social groups, religion, politics, social media, music, and literature — the content and communities that shape our beliefs about ourselves, often without our conscious awareness or consent.

How to recognize it: key signals

• Persistent guilt about the past that simply won't let go
• A sense of owing something to someone — without a clear reason
• Background anxiety: "something will go wrong and I won't cope"
• Inability to refuse a close person
• A feeling that you don't deserve good things

The first step toward change is simply seeing this for what it is — and naming it as abuse. As the doctor puts it: understanding that this is a pathological state, not "the truth about you," already shifts everything.