Why Psychological Abuse Happens: The Ladder from Self to War

In the VitaModo method, psychological abuse is seen not as random but as a consequence of a mental disorder that "abuses" the person and spreads outward in levels — from the closest to the most distant. To understand why it happens, the doctor invites us to see this entire ladder at once.

The worst abuse is personal

The first and heaviest level is a person's abuse of themselves, when the illness acts on a personal, inner level: guilt, intrusive thoughts, depressive-paranoid states. Here, as the doctor says, "there is no bottom." It is this inner pressure of the disorder that can drive a person to desperate acts just to escape it somehow.

The illness is separated from the person

A key principle of the method: the disorder is one thing, the person is another. When we speak of the manifestations of illness, we separate them from the personality. This is hard to "swallow," but here lies the depth of understanding: if a person falls ill with a certain illness, certain manifestations appear — and this is not their "evil will," but the work of the disorder.

How abuse moves into the family

The second level is family and close relationships. When one person's illness "turns" onto the closest person, daily abuse of various kinds begins — first verbal, in messages and conversations, then expressed even in intimate life, and later physical. The doctor stresses: society too easily walks past such facts, and his task is to make people react, not turn away.

Why the reaction is "always the same"

The method points to the type of nervous system. If a person reacts easily to a stimulus, that reaction shows up the same way in any situation. One who "limps" in one place limps everywhere. A person who senses aggression or a verbal attack "explodes" regardless of setting: in a queue, in a public place, or alone with a device that won't work. He does not restrain his impulses — and it shows in everything.

The far levels: neighbors and war

The next rungs of the ladder are the neighbors on the stairwell, the danger on the way home. War, says the doctor, is already the most distant level — so far that there even appear medals and earnings, and the scale of destruction is perceived with detachment. But all of it is one ladder: abuse spreads exactly this way, from the inner to the outer.

Practice: seeing the "ladder" instead of blame

1. Name the level: ask yourself — is this inner pressure (thoughts, guilt), in the family, among neighbors, or further out?
2. Separate illness from person: say the formula "this is a manifestation of the disorder — separate; the person is separate."
3. Check the "sameness of reaction": does the outburst repeat identically across situations — in a queue, at home, with a device?
4. Don't walk past: notice the fact of abuse as a fact requiring a reaction, not as an "everyday matter."
5. Lean on knowledge: with information about the mechanism, you get a better result.