Psychological Abuse: Myths That Keep Us From Seeing It Clearly

Psychological abuse is surrounded by persistent myths. They are dangerous precisely because they redirect attention away from the real source of harm — leaving a person to suffer without understanding why.

Myth 1: Abuse always comes from the outside

We tend to picture an abuser as someone else — an aggressive partner, a toxic parent, a hostile colleague. But Dr. Saulitis points to a paradox: the most severe psychological abuse is often the kind a person inflicts on themselves. Chronic guilt, endlessly replaying past mistakes, thoughts like "I'm not worthy" or "I owe everyone something" — these are not just feelings. They are a mechanism of internal destruction that operates around the clock, without rest.

Myth 2: Guilt is honest self-reflection

A common mistake is to treat chronic guilt as a legitimate moral response. In the doctor's view, what is actually happening is a pathological process: the brain floods the mind with intrusive scenes ("if only I had called back then, everything would be different"), and the person loses touch with reality entirely. This is not honest self-assessment — it is what the doctor calls a "delusional narrative" that takes over and replaces real life.

Myth 3: Intelligence and strength offer protection

Another dangerous misconception: the smarter and stronger the person, the better equipped they are to handle such states. In reality, the opposite is true. The sharper the mind and the heavier the mental load, the greater the exhaustion — and the more actively the brain finds new vulnerabilities and generates new fears. Intelligence here is not a shield; it becomes an additional instrument of self-torment.

Myth 4: External abuse is worse than internal

Abuse within families, in public spaces, in society — all of it is real and serious. But the doctor draws a clear hierarchy: when a mental disorder or pathological state abuses a person "at the most personal level," it is experienced as something with "no bottom." It is this inner condition — not external threat — that most often leads to the gravest consequences. Focusing only on outside sources of harm, while ignoring this inner violence, is a serious and costly mistake.