Social Anxiety: First Steps When Anxiety Takes Over

Social anxiety is felt as a painful tension in the presence of others, in situations of evaluation and interaction. The doctor makes an important distinction: anxiety is not fear of a concrete threat. It is a signal that arises when the psyche cannot cope with a stimulus. And the first steps are not about arguing with anxious thoughts, but about understanding the mechanism and reclaiming clarity.

Anxiety Is Not Fear

When anxiety appears, a person starts spinning thoughts that "have no connection with reality at all." And the more you argue with them, the worse it gets: "you constantly have to argue with them." The doctor warns: this is an endless loop that only drains you. Anxiety is costly to live through — along with it "your natural endorphins burn out." So the first step is to stop fighting the content of the thoughts and look at the function that produces them.

Where Anxiety Comes From

The doctor names two sources. First: "anxiety arises from a lack of information — that is a fact." When there isn't enough understanding of a situation, the psyche fills the gap with anxiety. Second: anxiety "begins as the result of a mental disturbance" — when a stimulus acts on us whose effect we "cannot compensate for." So anxiety is a signal of overload, not your personal weakness.

What You Can Change: Homeostasis and Program

If the stimulus is "not sulfuric acid" — that is, not a direct physical threat — we have options. First: improve the basic functioning of the brain: "sleep, nutrition, all that homeostasis." Second: "apply a different program to process the information that is acting on us right now." This is the practical beginning: first put the body and routine in order, then the way you process what's happening.

Drop the Appraisal — Reclaim Clarity

The doctor's key move is to separate the event from the personal "self" and remove the appraisal. Instead of asking "why is this happening to me, why is it like this" — simply see the stimulus and act on the facts. Appraisal, the doctor says, is "like draining the gasoline from a car": you are just burning resources. When appraisal is removed, "direct knowing, vision" appears, and "then you will have clarity."

Maturity as a Foundation

The doctor links resilience with inner maturing — a state where the childish reaction "why is this happening to me" no longer operates. In this state, facing a stimulus, "you simply act on the facts." This is not a denial of feelings, but a mature relationship with reality, and that is what lowers anxiety.

Practice

The steps follow strictly from the doctor's logic:

1. Notice the loop. Catch the moment you start arguing with anxious thoughts, and remind yourself they "have no connection with reality."
2. Restore homeostasis. Start with the basics: sleep, nutrition, routine — "we settle all that," meaning we even it out.
3. Name the stimulus. What exactly is acting on you right now? State the fact.
4. Drop the appraisal. Let go of the "why is this happening to me" — it just burns resources.
5. Act on the facts. From the concrete situation you can see what needs to be done — move to action.