Emotional Regulation: Myths and Common Mistakes

Many people search for ways to "get their emotions under control" — and immediately fall into traps that make things worse. Here are the most common ones.

Myth 1. An emotional lift equals regulation

Affirmations, inspirational quotes, and eloquent words can produce a temporary emotional high — but they provide no practical tool. Dr. Saulitis is direct: beautiful philosophy remains empty if there is no method that can actually be applied in real life. A person feels inspired, then returns to the same state shortly after, because nothing in the mechanics of their reactions has changed.

Myth 2. Subjective judgements carry objective weight

A frequent mistake is treating other people's assessments — "you've changed," "you're this or that" — as objective facts and reacting to them as real threats. This is a primary source of unnecessary emotional strain. Dr. Saulitis calls such pressure manipulation: a subjective judgement cannot claim objective status, and firing back at it with "objective ammunition" is pointless.

The practical mistake: skipping the inner dialogue

The key step people miss is learning to notice the inner dialogue before it hijacks their reaction. The doctor compares an uncontrolled inner voice to a "radio transmitter in the brain": it runs in the background, broadcasting evaluations and accusations, and the person reacts to them without even recognising the source. The starting point must be here — learning to mark which judgements are objective and which are subjective.

What actually helps

When the inner dialogue cannot be quieted on one's own, Dr. Saulitis describes a sequence: first, physical state and rest (fatigue and recovery directly affect reactivity), and only if that is insufficient — consulting a specialist, with possible medication support. The order matters: jumping straight to medication without first working on awareness is itself a common mistake.