Low Desire: First Steps When "All the Blood Is in Your Head"

When desire and interest fade, we often look for the cause "where it isn't." Yet frequently it comes down to a state in which body and mind simply can't manage intimacy: under high inner tension "all the blood is in your head," and then "there's no desire," and intimate matters "don't really work out." This brochure is about the first, simplest steps.

Why desire fades

The doctor offers a clear, physiological explanation: under stress and adverse influences, the level of "bad dopamines" rises — a state of overarousal and anxiety. In this mode the body is busy with tension, not closeness. That's why "pleasant matters don't really work out in such situations": erectile difficulties or simply no desire are the result of this inner overload.

How to recognize "bad dopamines"

The doctor names three clear signs that tell you you're in this state:

• dry mouth — "your mouth will go dry";
• racing thoughts, anxiety, fear;
• inner tension, including in the muscles.

If these three coincide, desire isn't to be expected right now — and blaming yourself makes no sense. First you need to release the overload.

First step: release tension, don't "force" yourself

The doctor's logic is simple: first clear this state, and only then can interest "be joined back in." The simplest method he describes is literal: "you take a bottle of mineral water and walk until it's finished." A long walk with water gradually "flushes out" this tension — usually in about an hour.

The foundation without which the steps won't work

The doctor speaks a lot about a healthy lifestyle as the base: get enough sleep, take off "all this reactivity," long walks and water. The core idea is not to expose yourself to stress and adverse influences, so the "bad dopamines" don't rise in the first place. This is "the normal, simple life" away from which a person gets "driven into an induced state."

Practice: 4 steps when desire has faded

1. Check yourself against the three signs: dry mouth, racing thoughts, muscle tension. This is a signal of overload, not of you being "broken."
2. Don't force yourself into intimacy in this state — "it doesn't really work out in such situations."
3. Take water and go for a walk — a simple long walk until the tension "comes out" (usually about an hour).
4. Build the base: sleep, less stress and fewer adverse influences — so the state doesn't return.