Dementia: How to Support Without Causing Harm

When dementia enters a family, loved ones step in as caregivers — out of love, out of duty. But without the right knowledge, that care becomes a source of suffering for both people involved.

The caregiver becomes a patient too

Sleep problems, anxiety, low mood, exhaustion — these are the complaints that bring people to a doctor, and it often turns out they are caring for someone with dementia at home. As Dr. Saulitis puts it, the illness "spreads to two people." The first necessary step is to honestly acknowledge: "I'm not coping, my own health is deteriorating." That is not weakness — it is the starting point for real help.

Unprofessional care is not care — it is harm

Dr. Saulitis is direct: taking on medical caregiving without training is like performing surgery without being a surgeon. Families often don't see it that way. They get angry when their relative forgets they just ate; they laugh at the person's confusion; they don't realise that disorientation, psychotic episodes, hallucinations, and delusions are treatable symptoms. Without that understanding, what feels like care can become a form of cruelty toward the patient.

What actually helps

• Accept the diagnosis and stop interpreting symptoms as stubbornness or a personal affront.
• Seek professional help: dementia responds to comprehensive treatment — sleep, mood, blood pressure, and overall functioning can all be stabilised.
• Visit specialist care facilities in advance — before a crisis forces the decision. Seeing them firsthand changes your perspective; a care home stops feeling like abandonment.
• Account for seasonality: symptoms tend to worsen in autumn and winter; in spring and summer, in a familiar environment, people often improve noticeably — this is normal fluctuation, not a cure.
• Take care of yourself: a caregiver who receives no support is eventually unable to help anyone.

The most important thing to understand

Dementia is not a sentence to helplessness. With the right support in place, a person can remain at home, in a familiar environment, for a long time. But that is only possible when professional care is part of the picture — not just loving, overwhelmed family members acting alone.