Nicotine Dependence: How to Be a Support, Not a Barrier

When someone close to you smokes, the first impulse is to forbid, persuade, or push. Dr. Saulitis cautions that prohibition tends to backfire. The harder the pressure, the more tightly a person clings to their "support." Understanding why this happens is essential for anyone who genuinely wants to help.

Nicotine Is Not a Habit — It Is Psychopharmacology

Dr. Saulitis frames the cigarette differently from common wisdom: nicotine is a psychopharmacological substance — a mild stimulant and a mild antipsychotic at the same time. A person whose mind is under strain unconsciously uses it as self-medication. That is precisely why calls to "just quit" rarely work: for the smoker, this is not a whim but a functional crutch. Recognising this removes judgement — and that alone is the first act of support.

Bans Reinforce Dependence — What to Do Instead

Attempts to control, shame, or issue ultimatums do not treat dependence; they deepen it. The doctor offers a different strategy: invest in yourself. Become the kind of person others want to be around — energetic, joyful, thriving. When your loved one genuinely asks, "What are you doing that makes everything work so well for you?" — that is the real opening for a conversation. Until that moment arrives, pressure is pointless.

Help Only When Asked — and on Your Terms

A core principle: meaningful help is only possible when the person has asked for it themselves. If your loved one is not yet ready, your role is not to chase them with advice but to remain a magnet — to grow, to flourish, to be a living demonstration that a full life without chemical crutches is real. When the request does come, you can offer support — but with clear boundaries and on your own terms.

A Critical Signal: Smoking in Adolescence

If a young person begins smoking at 14 and continues, Dr. Saulitis speaks about it plainly and firmly: this is already a serious problem requiring early professional intervention. Loved ones should not wait for it to "pass on its own" — qualified help is needed as soon as possible.