When a Loved One Overeats: How to Help Without Making It Worse

Food addiction — whether it shows up as overeating, sugar cravings, or reaching for fast carbs — is not a lack of willpower. Dr. Saulitis describes it as an established neurobiological pattern: the person uses food as a kind of "antidepressant" to cope with mood swings, anxiety, or stress. Understanding this shifts the entire approach to support.

Don't Try to Break the Pattern Head-On

The first instinct of loved ones is often to ban certain foods, shame the person, or issue ultimatums. Dr. Saulitis cautions against this: it simply doesn't work. An entrenched behavioural pattern has already "grown into the person's identity" — it has become a way of life, like someone's handwriting. Direct pressure only increases resistance and erodes trust.

The Parallel Intervention Approach

Instead of prohibiting, Dr. Saulitis describes a different method: don't remove the familiar — add something new alongside it. The person continues doing what they do, while new interests, activities, and sources of pleasure are quietly introduced in parallel. As the "new" gradually gains ground in their life, the dependent behaviour naturally begins to recede. This process takes time — sometimes years.

What Real Support Looks Like

• Stop evaluating and comparing. Constant negative commentary is "a drop of water that wears down stone" — over time it erodes both the relationship and the other person's mental health.
• Be present without becoming a rescuer. A loved one cannot substitute for professional help, and should not try to.
• Take care of yourself too. Supporting someone with an addiction is a burden. Your own wellbeing matters.

Change happens gradually and non-linearly. The goal is not to force or rush — it is to make the healthy option quietly available.