Envy: What It Is and How to Recognize It

Envy is commonly treated as something shameful — something a person deliberately "chooses." Dr. Saulitis firmly disagrees: envy is not chosen. That is precisely why it deserves attention as a psycho-emotional phenomenon rather than a moral failing.

What envy is

Envy arises when a person compares themselves to someone within a similar social and psycho-emotional space. It is not a vague wish to "have what they have" — it is a reaction to perceived inequality within the same circle: neighbours in the same building, colleagues at the same level, people with comparable resources. The wider the gap between people, the less room there is for envy; it operates within one's own social context.

Childhood envy — "Mum, why do they have it and I don't?" — is a normal and entirely natural state. The concern arises when this mechanism persists and unfolds in adult life.

How to recognize envy

The key sign is tension, irritation, or inner resistance that arises specifically when comparing oneself to those who are "nearby" — not to unreachable figures, but to people from one's own environment.

Another signal: envy often surfaces as a sign of mental fatigue. When inner resources run low, a person becomes more prone to such reactions. The appearance of envy may be an early indication that psycho-emotional reserves are running thin.

It is also important to distinguish envy from admiration. Admiring a professional of a higher calibre is one thing. Feeling an inner sting because a neighbour bought a slightly better car is something else entirely.

Envy is not a motivator

A common question: can envy drive progress? Dr. Saulitis answers plainly: no. Envy is not and cannot be a motivator. It is a signal — not a tool for growth.

When envy appears, I think it's the first sign that the brain is simply tired.

Envy in childhood is more than normal — it is a natural state.