Intolerance of Uncertainty: First Steps — Learning to Decide

There is a state in which a person stops understanding what is happening to them. The familiar decisions that others used to make for them are gone — and they sit bewildered, dulled, not knowing what to do: eat or not, walk or sit, pray or work. And if they spend a few weeks shut in at home, it gets even worse. The doctor puts it plainly: the way out begins with one thing — learning to make your own decisions.

Why delay is dangerous

When you don't make decisions on key questions as quickly as possible, an inner "chewing" starts — obsessive thoughts that spin endlessly without rest. The doctor calls this intellectual rumination and warns that it is what "kills" you. The longer a person hangs in uncertainty, the deeper they sink into it.

"If you need more than a day to make a decision, that is a very serious psychiatric disorder."

The doctor gives an image: a person sits with bread and a glass of compote in front of them, unable to decide on which side to place the glass — and so they freeze. This is the extreme form of the same thing: when no decision is made, everything stalls.

What happens when you decide

The moment a decision is made, the brain switches on immediately — it already knows what to do, just as the body knows we go to work on weekdays and rest on the weekend. A decision is a "ranging shot": you set a direction and start moving. The strength of mental health turns on precisely at the moment of choice.

"You just make the decision — and the brain switches on at once, it already knows."

A deadline instead of torment

There is no need to gather information endlessly. The doctor advises setting a deadline: "By tomorrow, by 12:00, I will make the decision — for now go relax, take a bath." At the appointed time you weigh everything you know and make your choice. After that — no more wavering: you simply act, like in sport, at a steady "cruising speed."

Start simple and measure

The principles are best felt on elementary things — for example, food. You take an action, then calmly, without anger, you measure the reaction: this food, this contact, this action affected me in such-and-such a way. And you write down the conclusion. Next time you already know how your body behaves, and you don't repeat what harms you.

Practice: the first-decision algorithm

1. Pick one key question where you are currently stuck (don't try to solve everything at once).
2. Set a deadline — for example, "by tomorrow at 12:00." Until then, gather information and analyze what you already know.
3. At the appointed hour, decide — weigh the facts and your experience, make the choice as plainly as "two plus two is four."
4. Act — without wavering, calmly, at a steady "cruising speed."
5. Measure the result: what this action/food/contact gave you, how your body reacted. Write down the conclusion and use it next time.

As you develop this ability, fewer and fewer decisions are needed — you begin to see clearly and simply, without effort. But while turmoil remains, it leaves precisely when you decide.