Trust: The Myths That Prevent You From Rebuilding It

The subject of trust is surrounded by persistent myths that, in practice, make recovery harder rather than easier. Dr. Saulitis identifies several such misconceptions that people bring into consultations.

Myth 1: "Just leave — or just stay" will fix everything

One of the most serious mistakes is expecting a specific external prescription — "leave this person" or "stay and endure" — to restore trust. It is the same as telling a driver with a broken-down car: "Drive over there and you'll be a better driver." First, the person needs to get their own "computer" back into working order — clear the crashes, fix the glitches. Only then can new "software" be installed, and only then does it make sense to address the specific relationship.

Myth 2: One mistake destroys trust permanently

Many people believe that a single misstep irreparably ruins trust. But growth without mistakes is impossible. A living person makes mistakes — not as a sign of weakness, but as proof of forward movement. If you never make mistakes, you have already stopped developing.

Myth 3: Being "convenient" is the same as being trustworthy

A common confusion is equating genuine trust with a willingness to always accommodate the other person. In reality, that kind of "convenience" means you are being used one-sidedly: your resources are drained without a true mutual exchange. Trust is built on genuine correspondence between two people — not on compliance.

What actually blocks rebuilding

Trying to rebuild trust without prior inner work is like a runway packed with debris: nothing new can land. Until a person clears out old patterns and stabilises their own internal state, any outward steps toward "restoring trust" will simply burn fuel and go nowhere.