Domestic Violence: What It Is and How to Recognize It

Domestic violence is one of the most widespread and yet least visible forms of violence. It takes place precisely where people live in closeness — in families, in relationships — which is why it is so difficult to recognise and name.

Violence Has Levels

According to Dr. Saулитис, violence exists on several levels. The deepest is what a person experiences internally: guilt, intrusive thoughts, states in which a mental disorder essentially violates a person at the most personal level. The next level is violence within the family and intimate relationships. Beyond that come neighbours, public spaces — and so on, all the way to war. Domestic violence sits at that second level, and it is there that it plays out day after day.

How Illness Becomes Violence

An important clinical observation: in a number of cases, domestic violence is connected to a mental disorder in one of the partners. The illness "turns toward" the person closest to them. This does not remove responsibility, but it explains the mechanism — the disorder and the act are two separate things, and distinguishing between them matters.

How to Recognise the Pattern

One key indicator the doctor highlights is a person's consistent inability to control their impulses — in any setting. If someone explodes in a queue, throws objects when frustrated, reacts intensely to any provocation, that pattern shows up everywhere, every time — not only at home. It is visible in shops, in public spaces, in everyday life. These are not isolated outbursts; they are a stable response system.

"He cannot hold back his impulses — and this will show itself in everything and everywhere."

Domestic violence rarely begins suddenly. It builds across many interactions: messages, conversations, intimate life, everyday conflicts. A person who limps in one place limps everywhere — the behavioural pattern is consistent across contexts.