Why Violence Happens: The Method’s View on Levels and the Nervous System

Domestic violence rarely appears “out of nowhere.” In Dr. Saulitis’s method it is seen as something that starts inside the person — in the type of their nervous system — and then spreads across every area of life and relationship. To understand the “why” is to see where this reaction begins and how it radiates further.

Where it begins: relationship and contact

Violence happens in the family, in relationships — and it shows up not in one place, but in everything. The doctor names the “layers” of a relationship: first messaging and contact, then conversation, then it expresses itself in the sexual life too. If something “limps,” it limps everywhere at once.

“Whoever limps in church limps everywhere — in church, in the tavern, and in the brothel.”

That is the key point: the problem is not local, it runs through every form of interaction between partners.

The type of nervous system: a reaction that is the same everywhere

The central angle of the method is a feature of the nervous system. If a person’s type reacts easily to a stimulus, that reaction will show up in the most varied situations, and always in the same way. Sensing aggression or a verbal attack, he “explodes” — he cannot hold or control himself.

“He doesn’t restrain his impulses, and this finds its expression in everything and everywhere.”

In a queue where someone steps on his foot, in a public bathhouse, alone with a phone that “won’t obey” — the reaction is the same. The doctor calls this make-up “organic”: a hot-tempered character, visible in the person himself. Head injuries (blows in sports, fighting) can add to it and heighten the irritability.

The worst violence is personal

The method singles out a level the doctor calls the worst: when a person commits violence against himself. This is guilt, depressive-paranoid thoughts — what leads to severe depression. Here it is not another person doing the violence, but the mental disorder itself — on a personal, private level.

“The worst violence is personal — when a person commits violence against himself.”

This violence has “no bottom”: people who have lived through it say nothing is worse — and sometimes, to escape this pressure from within, they reach suicide.

A ladder of levels: from the person to war

The doctor builds violence as expanding circles:

• Personal — the illness assaults the person himself (the worst, bottomless).
• Family — one person’s illness “turns” onto the closest one: daily violence, including physical.
• Neighborly — on the stairwell, in the entryway.
• Street — on the way home from the train.
• War — the most distant level, where violence is even dressed up as heroism and medals.

The farther from the person — the more “distant” it feels, even as the scale of destruction grows.

Separating the disorder from the person

A core principle of the method: the violence done by the illness must be separated from the person himself. The “disorder is separate.” The thought is hard to “swallow”: to admit that, with a certain illness, anyone would show certain manifestations. Yet this very understanding is the depth at which one can see why violence happens — and gain real information to help.

Practice: how to see the “why”

1. Notice the universality of the reaction. Ask: does the temper appear only at home — or the same way everywhere (a queue, the road, a phone that won’t work)? Sameness points to a nervous-system type, not the loved one’s “fault.”
2. Check the layers of the relationship. Where does it “limp” — messaging, conversation, intimacy? If in all at once, the problem isn’t local.
3. Distinguish the levels. Identify which level it is: personal (inside the person), family, neighborly, street. This changes what can be done at all.
4. Separate the disorder from the person. Note inwardly: “this is the disorder — it’s separate.” This loosens the fusion of anger with the personality.
5. Don’t judge “should/shouldn’t” — observe the fact. Like an earthquake: it happened. First see the fact clearly, then think how and with what one can help.