Money Anxiety: First Steps When Fear Outweighs the Numbers

Money anxiety is rarely about the actual figure in your account. Dr. Saulitis stresses that people differ by their relationship to money, not by how much they have. One person may have "a tenner to their name" and still smile; another feels everything is falling apart with the same amount. So the first steps with money anxiety are about working on yourself, not on money.

First, separate the fear from the sum

A simple truth matters here: it's not about the amount of money, but about your reaction to it.

"It's absolutely unimportant — it's simply your relationship to money."

The same amount produces two different states in two different people. So the first step is to notice your reaction and not confuse it with a real shortage. Anxiety is about relationship, not the number in your wallet.

Where the fear grows from: roots in the past

The doctor shares that money fear is largely shaped by environment and history. He recalls a time when "we lived poorly — and you got used to it," when buying an apartment wasn't even a concept and things wore out within weeks. Many families carried a background stress — not "you'll be left penniless," but something deeper. Understanding where your personal relationship to money came from is the second step: fear stops being faceless once you can see its story.

Put your body in order

Before sorting out thoughts about money, the doctor advises starting with the body.

"Put your body in order. If your body doesn't work — it's like a computer: the hardware alone is useless."

Watch what you eat, drop harmful habits, start with walks. Signs you're on the right track: sleep improves, attention holds longer, you no longer get irritated over trifles or explode. The body is like a battery: until it's charged, there's no point discussing anything further.

Tune the "software" in your head

The next step is your thoughts. The doctor suggests holding onto programs that support movement and pushing the rest away: "money is health, money is joy, money is energy." When other, anxious thoughts arrive — simply let them go. This isn't magic but the work of attention: what you keep in your head sets your state.

Practice: five first steps

1. Separate fact from fear. Write down the real amount separately — and your feeling about it separately. Compare: how strong is the reaction versus the fact?
2. Find the root. Recall where your relationship to money came from — what environment, family, history. Name it.
3. Charge the body. Start small: sleep, food, a walk. Watch for signs of progress — calm sleep, less irritation.
4. Switch the programs in your head. When an anxious money thought comes, gently push it away and return your attention to a supportive stance.
5. Act, don't freeze. Calm is not paralysis. A small action beats frozen fear.

Calm as a compass

The doctor notes that those who are inwardly settled give off "an un-faked calm" — no tension, eyes not darting, talking about the details of a matter rather than emotional bursts. This is the direction of work for money anxiety: not "more money," but more calm — the calm from which you can then act clearly.