A Loved One's Money Anxiety: How to Be There Without Making It Worse

Money anxiety is neither a whim nor a weakness. Dr. Saulitis makes a key point: the actual amount of money a person has does not determine whether they live in fear. One person gets by calmly on very little; another is gripped by dread despite financial stability. This is the first thing loved ones need to understand — you cannot solve the problem simply by offering money or reassuring someone that "things aren't that bad."

Resist the urge to fix it with money

Dr. Saulitis gives a clear warning: lending or giving money to someone who hasn't earned it themselves is not help — it becomes an additional burden. The person loses the connection between effort and outcome, and this can worsen their state rather than ease it. Supporting a loved one is not a financial transaction.

Anxiety can become depression — stay alert

Dr. Saulitis describes cases where a serious financial loss or betrayal involving money triggered a severe clinical depression that proved very difficult to treat. If you notice that your loved one has become withdrawn, lost the ability to enjoy ordinary things, or seems persistently low — this is a sign the situation has moved beyond ordinary worry. Professional support is needed here, not only compassion.

Respect the person's own path to stability

People find their footing in different ways — a garden plot, fishing, making something with their own hands — anything that produces a tangible result and a small sense of joy. Dr. Saulitis speaks of these "outlets" without irony: they are psychologically healthy coping mechanisms. A loved one should not dismiss or belittle them. On the contrary — support whatever gives the person a sense of control and meaning.

How to talk to someone with money anxiety

• Don't minimise ("others have it worse," "you're exaggerating").
• Don't pressure with advice like "just earn more."
• Don't offer money as a way to "close off" their anxiety.
• Listen — truly listen, without rushing to fix.
• If the anxiety is prolonged and intense, gently suggest speaking with a specialist.