Codependency: Why It Happens — The "Brain Pattern" View

In this method codependency is seen not as mere "psychology" or a character trait, but as a state of consciousness that can be observed, felt, and understood at its roots. The doctor invites us to grasp "what it is, how it works, and where it comes from" — and then it becomes clear why it arises at all.

Two wolves: which movie are you watching

There is a parable of two wolves living in every person: "whichever one you feed will prevail." If you feed the wolf that brings energy, strength, love — that is how your life will be. Whichever wolf you watch more, that is the movie you keep living in. Codependency, too, is one of these "movies" a person ends up inside — often not by their own choice.

The brain makes a movie

A key idea of the method: every time you see or do something, the brain creates a new movie. Consciousness is what looks at this picture. The information is encoded as if in every point of the brain (a hologram analogy): even when part of the brain is lost, the picture is restored, only slightly smaller — "like a view through a window."

This explains why the same object is perceived differently in different states: the same microphone makes one laugh in mania and cry in depression. When you recall the past or imagine the future, you are making today's movie — and when this phenomenon "catches" you, you believe it, and it becomes your reality.

How the pattern grows: conditioning

The brain becomes conditioned. When a neural association occurs often, the link between cells grows out and becomes permanent — a microcircuit, a structure forms. The classic example is Pavlov's conditioned reflex. A person is conditioned the same way: school trains us to listen and obey; mass media fail to give us the capacity to be aware and to make our own decisions.

The information you receive, the environment you live in, the food you eat — all of it grows a brain pattern. And it is this pattern that determines the movie you will see. If "a red apple" is paired with a blow again and again, a ready-made road is built: see the apple — and the impulse already runs down the laid path.

One brain influences another

The crux of codependency: one brain can influence the actions of another. In essence this is a mechanism of induction, of influence, akin to hypnosis; when such influence lasts a long time, it is called an infected delusion. Here too lies the difference between people: the ability not to yield to influence, not to be "suggested into" things, lets a person move forward, whereas a highly suggestible person easily falls into someone else's movie.

Why this is not a sentence

The main point: what you see, how you see it, and what you think is determined not by "some psychology" but by the grown pattern of neural connections. And the pattern is the result of environment, influence, and repetition. Since it was grown by conditioning, a person can resist on their own, make their own decisions, and feel for themselves. Understanding the mechanism itself is the first step to no longer living inside someone else's "horror film."

Practice

1. Name your "movie": describe the recurring codependent story as a film — who are the characters, what genre (horror? drama?).
2. Find the "red apple and the blow": which stimulus→reaction links fire automatically, without your decision.
3. Ask: whose brain is influencing you? Whose influence, information, environment do you absorb the longest.
4. Check your suggestibility: where do you agree and obey without having understood and decided for yourself.
5. Choose which wolf to feed: one concrete step by which today you "watch" a different movie.